Each year, on Thanksgiving Day, we pause to reflect on our blessings – whether it is good health, fulfilling work, or meaningful relationships. We all look for reasons to be thankful.  

This year, I’m celebrating it without my daughters, who are now living independently. In the past, Thanksgiving was such a special time for the three of us. When they were young, they would ask me whether we were going to celebrate the Korean Thanksgiving or the Canadian one, as they typically fall around the same time. Their main concern was always the food – whether we would have a traditional Korean dish or turkey, and we often settled on chicken as a compromise between the two cultures we cherish so much. 

One day, my elder daughter, Jenny, said, “Mom, I think we should choose one or the other. If we don’t, we might miss an important part of our lives.” Her comment made me pause and think: “What does celebration truly mean?” and “Why do we celebrate in the first place?”

Going back to Choo-Seok, Korean Full Moon, this holiday holds deep significance as a ritual celebration of thanksgiving to the Korean people. During Choo-Seok, family gather to express gratitude to their ancestors, believing they are being well cared for. It is a time to come together, celebrate the harvest, and give thanks to God, the divine and Almighty, even in the face of challenges like droughts, floods, or typhoons.

At this time of the year, the railways and highways across the Korean Peninsula are filled with cars as people travel to their hometowns to reunite with their parents, siblings and relatives. In this sense, Korean Thanksgiving day is all about family reunion. 

Is everyone looking forward to Thanksgiving?  Probably not! 

In Korean culture, older single men or women often dread the holiday because they are constantly reminded to hurry up and get married.

If I had to prepare and serve traditional Korean meals throughout the holiday all by myself, I wouldn’t enjoy it very much either, as I would be exhausted from the work.

If I were in a strained relationship with someone in my family, like Jacob in today’s scripture, I would be anxious about seeing that person. 

Here, in Genesis Chapter 33, Jacob meets his twin brother Esau for the first time in 20 years after fleeing from his home. At the beginning of the chapter, Jacob is terrified that Esau might kill him and his family. But, by the end of the chapter, Jacob finds peace, even building an altar to  God. This is not the same Jacob we knew 20 years ago – he has changed significantly.

As we recall, Jacob was clever enough to take both Esau’s birthright and their father Isaac’s blessing. He bartered Esau’s birthright for some bread and lentil stew, and he even lied to his father to get the blessing. 

Jacob’s story is a story of recurring conflict – conflict driven by human desire, jealousy, and greed.  His actions leave us wondering: shouldn’t such dishonesty deserve to be punished?  What, then, can we learn from Jacob’s story? What deeper lesson does it hold?

To answer this question, I want to discuss Jacob’s internal changes over 20 years. He lived in constant dread of Esau’s revenge, knowing he had wronged his brother. Yet, there was no real need for reconciliation. No one was forcing Jacob to face Esau. It had been 20 years – no one was looking for him. Why would anyone care? He could just have easily stayed where he was, enjoying the wealth and family he had built. 

However, despite all the wealth and comforts in his life, Jacob chose to return home to reconcile with Esau. How did Jacob come to this realization? His 20 years working as a shepherd for his uncle meant a lot. During that time, Jacob likely reflected on his past, and his uncle’s dishonest behaviour may have also reminded him of his own deceit toward Esau. Over those long years, Jacob learned to listen to what God wanted him to do. It took 20 years to truly repent.  

In Jacob’s prayer in Genesis Chapter 32:11-12, Jacob acknowledges God’s blessings and pleads for help: “I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’” 

Remembering both his wrongdoings and God’s promises, Jacob asks for God’s help. When he meets Esau, surrounded by his army, Jacob approaches humbly, bowing to the ground seven times as he draws near. To his surprise, Esau runs to meet him, embraces him, throws his arms around Jacob’s neck, and kisses him. Together, they weep!  

This story reflects human celebration by remembering God’s grace upon Jacob and his miraculous reconciliation with Esau. Jacob suffered for 20 years, yet he never drifted away from God. He humbly accepted his past and faced his wounded condition, allowing God to heal him. In doing so, he entered a new life, transformed from Jacob, meaning ‘deceiver,’ to Israel, ‘he who struggles with God.’ 

I believe we all carry our emotional wounds of guilt and shame, and I am no exception. There was a time in my life when these feelings weighed heavily on me. I tried to forget things I didn’t want to recall, and my life felt meaningless. Most of all, I felt alone. But through God’s grace, I was able to face those memories, reconcile with both God and others and experience true healing. I firmly believe God has restored me.   

In his book, The Living Reminder, Henry Nouwen says, “Healing means revealing our human wounds, which are most intimately connected with the suffering of God.”  As he points out, it is Christ within us who brings healing. Christ breaks through our pain and restores our broken relationships with God and others.

Our lives are shaped by relationships – at home, work, and church. When our relationships are right, we can truly celebrate, finding joy each day and each moment. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on our relationships. If needed, we should seek God’s help, trusting that God hears our prayers and will bring us healing. 

We give thanks to God for restoring our broken relationships, allowing us to fully celebrate life. Blessed be to God!